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Submitted: August 26, 2012
Image Size: 5.6 MB
Resolution: 1024×17525
Submitted with: Sta.sh

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Core of the Apple -Part 1by *NaterRang

Fan Art / Cartoons & Comics / Digital / Movies & TV

Part 2: [link]

Finally it's up!

This has been the culmination of a project months in the making! (Though it's also a project that should've been finished a months ago.

)

As is mentioned in the title this is part 1 of a 2 part story.

-I hesitate to mention this but, for those offering critique I must make a clarification; This has been a project months in the making. I'm not asking you to hold back or pull punches, rather just be aware that my art has improved since I originally sketched this thing out. Please take a look at one or two of my other recent pictures before you tailor your advice based on this picture alone.

-Anyway hope you guys enjoy!

Critique by ~zombieinferno32 Aug 28, 2012, 5:32:57 PM

Well first thing is that on vision it was a true and thought full vision I give it a 4, one thing is that yes a lot of people have noticed that but a 4 because you are the first (for me) that made a comic about that. Now in Originality I give a 5 because it was such an original dialogue in the story. Winona alerts A.J about Apple Bloom and then she thinks something went wrong at Family Appreciation day but no she never had a mother or father. Technique will have to have a 3 because sure its good, but next time I highly recommend using vectors. Now in Impact, this refers to a comic I saw of when Twilight has to let go of spike because he became a full grown dragon. But what I mean is that this is a huge impact to not only the reader/viewer it all so shows a reflectional issue on AppleBloom, AppleJack, and Big Macin' Tosh as well that they have no mother or father but yet its still not official on there parents fate. So in my conclusion to this critique I end Impact with a 5. Great dialogue on this sorrowful story NaterRang. Yours truly ~~~Zombieinferno32/The critique!

What do you think?

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69 out of 76 deviants thought this was fair.

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Impact

Critique by ~Ziggie1o1 Aug 26, 2012, 1:07:09 PM

Excellent work. While many bronies have discussed and done various pieces of artwork about the Apple family's lack of parents, this comic strip here did it extremely well, citing a very good episode for the topic (Family Appreciation Day,) and giving a legitimate reason as to why Applebloom might be upset. Having Applejack coming in to comfort her younger sister almost always works, and the dialogue felt very natural, flowing, and realistic, it seems like something a real child in that particular position might say. The art work was fairly simple, but in this case it worked. The background art being too complex might have actually subtracted from the impact of the dialogue and situation. The only real criticism I have with the art is that in the last panel, Applejack's legs kind of look like really long feet. Also, there's no real resolution, but you said this is 1/2, so I'm not going to criticize you on that because you obviously aren't finished. I also love Applejack's character enough, she appears more heartwarming than usual but isn't out of character from herself on the show. All and all, an amzing piece of work, and you sir/madam (sorry, it's a little hard to tell on the internet,) deserve an award.